Alright, fall is here, and you know what that means—things are about to get real with preparing for college apps. Everyone’s acting like this is the ultimate test, the moment that decides your entire future. Meanwhile, you’re over here just trying to keep it together, feeling like everyone else has their life perfectly planned out. Spoiler alert: they don’t. It’s all just one big stress spiral, and the pressure? Yeah, it’s no joke. But listen up: your worth isn’t tied to some acceptance letter. Colleges don’t get to define you, and they sure as hell don’t know the real you. So, let’s break this down together.
Forget the Name—Find Your Fit
The way people talk about getting into Ivy Leagues and big name universities, you’d think it’s the only option that exists. But news flash: a fancy school name doesn’t mean happiness. Half the people obsessed with it are chasing the flex, not the reality. If a school’s gonna stress you out or make you feel like you need to be someone else, it’s not the move. Find the right college fit, where you can be weird, messy, and unapologetically you.
Move:
Sit down and ask yourself—what do you want? Big city energy? Chill, small-campus vibes? Somewhere you can breathe and not feel like a robot in a sea of overachievers? Write it out. If a school doesn’t match up, cross it off. Forget the hype—you’re the one living there, not them.
Perfect? Who Even Is That?
Let’s just call it: trying to be “perfect” is a scam. Colleges aren’t looking for some fake version of you with straight A’s, a million extracurriculars, and a flawless essay. They want you to write a unique college essay that shows who you really are—flaws and all. Talk about the mess-ups, the weird interests, that one thing you care way too much about—anything that feels like you. No one has time for another cookie-cutter story.
Move:
Authenticity in college essays is the move. Think of one moment that really shows who you are—like, for real. Could be something you messed up and learned from, or even just something that makes you weirdly passionate (like your obsession with crime podcasts). Write your essay like you’re sharing your story with a friend. Colleges appreciate authenticity over a fake, polished persona.
Numbers Don’t Define You
GPA, SAT, ACT—whatever. It’s all just numbers. Yeah, they matter to some schools, but they don’t show the whole picture of who you are. And if your scores don’t hit that “perfect” mark, guess what? You’re still a whole badass. A test score doesn’t say anything about how funny, loyal, creative, or driven you are. Stop letting that sh*t get in your head.
Move:
When the numbers start making you feel like crap, remind yourself of what makes you awesome that isn’t academic. Like how you always keep it real with your friends, or how you taught yourself to cook because you were bored (and kinda killed it). Those are the things that actually matter.
Passion Over Participation
People think stacking up a million activities and clubs is the way to go, but that mindset needs an upgrade. If you’re joining stuff just to “look good,” it’s gonna show. What colleges really look for is what you actually care about, not just cramming your schedule with random clubs. Focus on what makes you excited and where you can actually make a mark.
Move:
If you’re doing something just because you think it “looks good,” it’s not worth your time. Pick the stuff you’d do even if no one else saw it. That’s where you’ll really shine. Plus, life’s too short to pretend you care about the debate team when you’d rather be painting murals.
Squad Goals: Support, Not Sabotage
If your friends are out here turning college apps into a competition, it’s time to check that energy. You don’t need people who lowkey want you to fail so they feel better. You need people who hype you up and remind you that you’ve got this. If they’re stressing you out, it’s okay to take a step back.
Move:
Look at your friend group. Are they lifting you up or bringing you down? If it’s the second one, maybe take a little space. Stick with the ones who want you to win and celebrate with you. That’s the energy you deserve right now.
Rejection = Reroute
Getting rejected sucks, period. No one’s gonna act like it doesn’t sting, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s just one school’s opinion, and it doesn’t define you. All it means is there’s another place out there that’s actually a better fit for you. So, yeah, feel your feels, but then pick yourself up because you’ve got options.
Move:
When that college rejection email hits (because, let’s be real, it happens to everyone), let yourself be mad about it for a second. But then remind yourself it’s their loss, not yours. Make a list of all the things you’re gonna do with the next opportunity, and get excited about what’s next.
7. Your Life, Your Call
Bottom line—this is your life. Not your parents’, not your friends’, and definitely not some admissions officer’s. So, stop worrying about what other people think and start figuring out what’s gonna make you happy. Whether it’s a gap year, community college, or your dream school—if it feels right for you, that’s what matters.
Move:
Grab a journal and write out what you actually want. Don’t hold back—dream big, go crazy. If a school doesn’t match that vibe, then why waste your time? You deserve to be somewhere that feels like home.
Real Talk: College Apps Don’t Get to Define You
This whole college process? It’s just one step. It doesn’t get to decide your future or your worth. Trust yourself, trust your gut, and remember: this is your journey. Go where you feel good, do what makes you happy, and know that you’re already enough, no matter what some email says.
And that’s how you #loveyourselfharder
*If you’re feeling overwhelmed by college application stress or academic pressure, check out these mental health resources for students: ChildMind Institute and Very Well Mind.
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