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How to Be Grateful, Especially When You Don’t Feel Like It (Thanksgiving Edition)


A teenage girl in a black hoodie sitting on the ground during Thanksgiving
Teenage Girl During Thanksgiving

Alright, it’s Thanksgiving, and everyone’s supposed to be all “grateful” and “thankful” for everything in their life. But let’s be real for a sec—sometimes it’s just not there. Maybe you’re stressed about school, family drama, or just not feeling the whole “let’s gather around and share what we’re thankful for” vibe. And honestly? That’s okay. We’ve all been there. But guess what? Gratitude isn’t just some Insta-worthy feeling that pops up when life’s perfect. It’s a mindset, and it can actually help you get through the tough stuff. Here are some gratitude tips for when you really don’t feel like it.



  1. Start Micro-Grateful

Forget the big, dramatic Thanksgiving gratitude stuff like “I’m grateful for world peace.” Instead, start small. Like, super small. Think about your favorite hoodie that feels like a warm hug, or the fact that there’s mashed potatoes waiting for you later. Gratitude doesn’t have to be deep; it just has to be real.


Move:

Keep a “thankful” note in your phone where you jot down 1–3 things you’re thankful for each day. It doesn’t have to be deep or earth-shattering. Example: Grateful for how good your hair looked yesterday. Grateful for the one funny meme your friend sent that made you snort. Grateful for carbs—always carbs.



  1. Flip the Script

Sometimes, having a grateful mindset is just about flipping the perspective. Stuck doing dishes? Hey, at least that means you had food to eat. Annoying little sibling bugging you? At least they think you’re cool enough to hang out with (even if they’re terrible at showing it). It’s not about toxic positivity; it’s about shifting your focus just enough to notice the good stuff hiding in plain sight.


Move:

Take the one thing bugging you most today and try to find one tiny silver lining. (Yes, it’s cheesy, but it works.)



  1. Focus on Your People

Family? Friends? The people who have your back? Those are the ones who count. Sure, family can drive you crazy sometimes, and not every friend gets you 100%, but your people are your tribe. Lean into those relationships and be thankful for the connections that keep you grounded. And if you’ve got people who consistently lift you up? Hold on tight to them—they’re rare.


Move:

Take a second to text one of your friends and remind them how much they mean to you. A little gratitude goes a long way.



  1. Find Something to Be Grateful for in the Hard Stuff

Life’s not always sunshine and rainbows. You’ve got to deal with drama, stress, and sometimes pure chaos. But even in the mess, there’s something to learn or be thankful for. Maybe it’s how strong you’ve gotten from dealing with hard situations, or how you learned to handle your feelings better. Every struggle teaches you something.


Move:

Write down a tough moment and find one thing it taught you. It doesn’t have to be huge, just something that made you stronger.



  1. Give Your Feels Some Space

Not feeling grateful at all? That’s normal too. Before you try to force gratitude, let yourself sit with whatever’s bugging you. Whether it’s stress, sadness, or straight-up exhaustion, give yourself permission to feel it. Then, when you’re ready, ask: “Is there anything—even the tiniest thing—that doesn’t suck right now?”


Move:

Maybe today's not the day to journal about what's you're grateful for. Instead try journaling about how you're feeling - and actually name the emotions. Sometimes it just helps to call of exactly how you're feeling so you can feel he feels and to get to the other side.



  1. Give Back

Gratitude is more than just being thankful for the good stuff in your life. It’s also about sharing that good energy. Help a friend out, donate to a cause, or just do something kind for someone who needs it. Giving doesn’t always mean money—it’s the little acts that add up.


Move:

Do something kind for someone without expecting anything in return. It’ll make you feel good, too.



Real Talk: Gratitude Isn’t About Things Being Perfect

Here’s the truth: gratitude isn’t a magic cure-all. It doesn’t fix everything, and it doesn’t mean ignoring what’s hard. But when you lean into it, even just a little, it can make the hard days feel a bit lighter. So, if all you can muster today is “I’m grateful for stretchy pants and Wi-Fi,” that’s still a win.

This Thanksgiving, you don’t have to feel grateful for everything. Just find one thing. And if all else fails, there’s always pie.



And that’s how you #loveyourselfharder



*If you're feeling a bit stressed or struggling with finding positivity, here are some helpful teen mental health resources to check out: NAMI and Calm.

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